We are all by now quite familiar with the term "dark night of the soul" and also familiar with the process - one of of going through a spiritually led transformation, a transformation that is quite frankly, uncomfortable to say the least at times.
My experience of this is that there is an initial dark night of the soul that we undergo and this is our biggest transformation, then from there we go through smaller ones - initiations, where we continue the process of shedding what no longer serves and revealing what feel like "new" parts of ourselves, which in my opinion are actually our remembering, our soul regrouping with the fragments it has been separated from.
I am currently going through another one of these initations, along with many other souls so I send you love if this resonates but also send you a reminder that this process is allowing parts of you that no longer serve you to die, and it is making room for the higher version of you to "come online", reawaken, bring you into wholeness.
Whilst in this current initiation, I was guided to reflect back on the past year or so, this is a practice that I find useful as it serves as a reminder of how far I have come when I am in that place of self doubt. Whilst reflecting I was led to a journal from 2020 where I was in a similar process but as it came to an end my soul began to express through me in new and exciting ways. It was this rather huge initiation that opened the new path that I am currently on. And reading this journal gave me great comfort in knowing that flowing with the uncomfortable parts of the journey always lead to rewards, remembering and wholeness.
In this journal my soul expressed the following that I really felt guided to share with you:
The Process of Stripping Bare
Ask yourself who you are.
Not the labels the world has led you to put on yourself, but the essence underneath it all.
A mother, a carer, a lover, a wife.
Do these roles give you your identity or is there still more below the surface?
The truths we don't wish to reveal to ourselves, as we may not like what we are left with.
Why not?
Who told you that you should wash your face, answer the phone, show up when you dont want to?
Who told you to tell a white lie when all you really want to do is to scream the truth?
What made you afraid to be you?
Take off your clothes, take off your shoes, take off your roles of mother, lover, carer, friend.
Take off the smile that isn't the truth and look deep into the essence of who you are.
Let yourself become familiar with this stranger infront of you.
Do you like what you see?
If all you see if the stomach you say is fat or the bags under your eyes then you aren't looking hard enough.
See. Really see.
Then let yourself feel.
Feel sad.
Feel sorry.
Feel relief.
Feel free.
Release the baggage of tears you held in for all these years, let them flow like the river to the sea.
Now what is left?
Don't be afriad, the familiar is still there, it has just made space for the new.
The wonderous beauty you can fill it with is yours to decide.
Save a tiny space for the familiar, let it remind you of your triumphs.
Wear it like a battle scar.
Wear it with pride.
And whenever you don't like what you see, feel for the familiar to see how far you have come.
Sending you all so much love,
Gemma xx
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